Truth, Dare or Chicken?
by MetalSmilieySpaz
Summary: A boring trip on the Hogwarts express soon elvolves into an exciting game of Truth or Dare. Frenchkisses, strippers and sandwiches find out how this one game of truth or dare can change the lives of these friends.
1. In which the stupidness begins

**Disclaimer: **Ari, Britt and Sam do not own the famous characters or settings in the wizard land. J.K. Rowling and her beautiful mind do though, and that's why we kneel on our knees chewing celery and praising her! (Ahem, cough, hack, hack, Ahem)

This story is being cowritten by Sam, Ari and I (Brittni). We've put a lot of work into it :cough: LIE :cough, and we would really appricate it if you reviewed.

We are not insane! Why would you think that?

Chapter 1: Where the Stupidness Starts

"Now, Ron and Ginny, you two be good this year alright? No funny business this year! If you pull another "Pudding Stunt" like last year young man, your life will become a constant state of pain and torture so horrible that the Dark Lord will look like a fluffy bunny. I want you focusing on school. Or I'll have to come down there to Hogwarts myself, and that won't be pretty! " Warned Mrs. Weasley.

"But Mom! The pudding thing was an accident!" Ron was suddenly cut off by a scream. The Weasley family along with Harry and Hermione looked towards a screaming Luna, who they hadn't even noticed until she started wailing like a banishee. The followed her gaze up towards the sky, trying to find the source of Luna's fright. There they saw... A GIANT BLACK BUNNY IN THE SKY! BUT THEN...they realized it was just a dark cloud!

"That's weird!" Exclaimed Luna, "Usually my forces tell me when a random big black bunny is going to appear! Maybe I should go get them checked by Yetzathi." Luna rambled about.

"Um... Luna? What's a Yetgobberniggerzati?" Ron asked.

Luna laughed a bit manaciclly, and said in a very starwars-ish voice, "Yetzathi is my father. You will learn of it soon grasshopper."

"Luna," Harry asked curiously, "Why were you screaming?"

Luna gave Harry an odd look.

"I wasn't screaming."

Harry decided not to persue the subject. Luna got like this sometimes.

"Interesting, very interesting!" Exclaimed Mrs. Weasley, looking anything but interested, "Anyways the train's here, move along now one by one, no pushing Fred, come on now. Good-bye Harry! Oh and one more thing um..." Mrs. Weasley pulled Harry away and whispered, "Keep an eye on Ron this year! Ever since he snuck all the pudding from the kitchens and ate it like it was the first and last day of his life I haven't been able to trust him like I did before! It was so embarrassing when I had to come to Hogwarts to a son that had to be specially treated because he was so bloated. Ron felt that in order to be "King of the Pudding" he had to eat all the pudding in the entire school! Can you please make sure that he doesn't do that again this year?"

Harry snickered quietly behind his hand. That incident had been rather funny, especially when Ron figured out that the pudding had actually been a batch of Fred and George's "Puke-a-lot Pudding". On the bright side he did get out of school for a week.

"Sure thing, Mrs.Weasley! I'll make sure he doesn't get into anymore... trouble."

"Oh thank- you Harry I appreciate it very much! Now run along or you'll miss the train!"

"Bye!" yelled Harry as he was running to the train doors. He squeezed in as they were closing and found the compartment that Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Luna and Neville were sitting in and asked, "Can I sit with you guys? Is there enough room for me in there?"

"Sure thing, Harry! Luna, get out!" Ron laughed a bit evilly and then went back to eating his sandwich.

"No, Luna stay where you are we're just gonna have to squish! Harry you sit down right here!" exclaimed Hermione as she patted a spot next to her.

Harry sat down next to Hermione as the train started to move. The seven-hour train ride had begun.

"So! What do you want to do?" Asked Ginny

"I dunno. What do you want to do?" replied Harry.

"I asked first!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"SHUT UP!" Yelled Hermione. "I've got a game. It's called Truth or Dare! I learned it when I was with my muggle friends during summer vacation. It's really a lot of fun! I'll start. I'll ask another person in this compartment to choose either truth or dare. If they choose truth, I'll ask them a personal question, and they have to answer truthfully. If they choose dare, I have to think of something embarrassing and exciting for them to do, and they have to do it. You can also choose chicken, if you're too scared to do what the other person says. Every-time you get a chicken you have to remove one article of clothing. Got it?"

Everyone in the compartment nodded.

"I'm first. Harry, Truth or Dare?"


	2. In which, Harry is afraid, Ginny snogs p...

**Disclaimer**: You guessed it. We _still_ don't own Harry Potter. (Though we all wish we own Draco Malfoy 'cause he's tasty)

Just-a-little-insane, that's just how we play Truth or Dare here. (In Canada. Toronto more specifically.) Only in Brittni's school, instead of taking off your clothes, people are aloud to do mean things to you, like pull your hair.

Chapter 2: In which Harry is afraid, Ginny is snogs people, and Ron has a pet sandwich.

"_I'm first. Harry, truth or dare?"_

"Dare." Harry replied in a steady voice. After all, if he could face Lord Voldemort countless times and win, he could face a stupid dare! Couldn't he?

"Excellent! Muahhhhhhhhhhhhahaha!" Hermione cackled evilly. This scared every one very much and they slowly began to inch away from her.

"Alright Harry, I dare you to travel across the train's 10 compartments fully naked, sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts" and smack your bum repeatedly."

"Point and laugh, point and laugh!" chanted Ron.

Surprisingly enough, people actually listened to Ron. There's a first time for everything.

Harry squeezed into the corner of the compartment and tried to become invisible. It didn't work.

"SHUT UP!" shouted Hermione, "There _is _another option for Harry to choose."

Everyone shut up and quivered uncontrollably at Hermione's creepy tone of voice. They momentarilry wondered if the Dark Lord could ever sound that creepy.

Nah. Not possible.

"If Harry was to _scared _to do the dare, he could always choose Chicken."

Harry weighed the choices. Public humiliation with his clothes on or public humiliation without his clothes on?

"Chicken." Harry sighed dejectedly, leaning down to remove a shoe. Suddenly he realized he was not wearing any shoes.

"Darn it all," exclaimed Harry, "I forgot to put on my shoes again."

Then, for plot-related reasons, Harry realized he was also not wearing any socks. So Harry decided to take off his glasses. Harry then became so blind that he smacked into a wall, and grabbed Neville's but instead of Hemione's. After that disturbing experience, Harry put his glasses back on and decided to take off his shirt.

He pretended not to notice Ron staring at his bare chest and whispering to his sandwich about Harry's sexy abs.

"Alright it's my turn now." Said Harry. He looked around the compartment. "Ginny. Truth, or Dare."

"I guess I'll pick-"

"YOUR NOSE!" interrupted Ron rudely. He began to laugh and snort hysterically, then quietly went back to stroking his sandwich, whom he had named Bob.

"How rude!" Ginny retorted. "As I was ABOUT to say, I choose dare."

Harry was shocked. He had expected all the girls to choose Truth. What if they all choose dare and made him look like a chicken? He had to think of something really nasty for her to do.

"I dare to find Draco Malfoy and snog him silly! It has to last at least 5 minutes and there has to be tongue, and you have to run your hands through his overly gelled hair! Ha!"

There was a collective gasp and every one in the cabin looked to Ginny.

"What the BLOODY HELL!" Cried Ron, "NO WAY! I WON"T LET HER!"

"Fine!" Exclaimed Ginny, "I'll do it! I'm not a chicken like _some_ people in this compartment!" She finished, glaring pointedly at Harry.

Ginny had searched about 8 compartments with no luck, when she saw none other than Draco Malfoy walking towards the loo.

"This is it." She murmured quietly under her breath. She took a deep breath and walked into the washroom behind him, locking the door as soon as she was in.

"What the hell are you doing in here Weasellete? If you hadn't noticed, this is the BOYS washrooms, and I need to take a piss.

Ginny ignored him, set her timer on for five mintues, wrapped her arms around his neck, and snogged his ass off. She felt him stiffen as she touched him. Ginny was surprised he hadn't pulled away. She tightened her grip. He couldn't get away yet! They still had four more minutes of snogging left to go!

Three minutes... Time seemed to pass so slowly! Why couldn't just be over?

She remembered the other requirements. Tongue, and messed up hair. Right.

She flicked her tongue on his lips. Draco was so surprised that he opened his mouth. Ginny took this as an invitation and slid her tongue into his mouth.

Fulfilling the last part of the dare she ran a hand through his hair. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't a hard as she expected it would be. In fact, in was almost soft. She ran her hand through his hair again. Ginny looked up. His hair wasn't gelled.

2 minutes left...

After three minutes Draco recovered from the shock, and began eagerly responding to the kiss. After all, a gorgeous woman had just thrown herself at him. Who cared if she was a Weasley?

Ginny thought she would die of shock when Draco started responding to the kiss. His tongue slid into her mouth, and he pulled her closer. He buried one of his hands in her thick hair and put his other hand on her back. It felt almost... good.

Her alarm went off. Five minutes were up. Damnit! Just when she was started to enjoy it too!

She left go of Draco and pushed him off her. Then she drew back her hand and slapped him.

"What the hell did you do that for?"

"You kissed me!

Draco mouth fell open in surprise and indignation.

"_I _kissed _you_? What the hell are you talking about! You started it!"

"It was a DARE! I wouldn't kiss you voluntarily if you were the last human on the planet! I'd rather kiss Neville's toad."

"What's a dare?"

"It's a muggle game."

"Can I play?"

"WHAT? Didn't you just hear me? It's a _muggle_ game!"

"So? It can't be that bad if the game includes going up to random people and snogging them."

Ginny eyed him cautiously. It would make the game more... interesting.

"Fine. You can play."

"You liked it right?" Draco asked in a cocky tone.

"Liked what?" Ginny replied

"When we made out."

Ginny turned around and slapped him. Draco didn't seem to take the hint.

"You're a pretty good kisser you know; you just need a little help with your tongue. I could help you with that." Draco commented, as he tried to pull Ginny closer.

Ginny stuck her hand on his chest and pushed him so forcefully he fell onto the toilet.

"Don't try to kiss me around Ron or he'll beat you up with Bob." Ginny warned Draco.

"What's Bob?" Draco asked, confused.

"His sandwich. He treats it like a pet," Ginny giggled.

"So, if I can't kiss you in the compartment, can I kiss you now to make up for it?" Draco asked, stepping closer to Ginny and pinning her up against the wall.

Ginny pretended to think about it.

"Howbout, NO!" She said slipping under his arm.

Draco cursed under his breath.

"Do you know that you are the only girl in this lifetime that's turned me down?" Draco asked.

Ginny rolled her eyes and replied with a smirk, "I should get a sodding award, now let's get a move on."

"Wait," he screeched.

"What now?" she replied in an annoyed tone.

"I still have to go!"

"Go where?"

Draco jerked his head in the direction of the toilet.

"Oh, oops!" Ginny blushed and was about to turn away when Draco stopped her.

"Wanna watch?" He smirked as Ginny rolled her eyes and left the loo. When he came back out she took his arm and dragged him into her compartment.

Harry took one look at Draco's messed up hair and knew Ginny had completed her dare. Gross.

"I'll beat you with BOB you asshole, don't ever go NEAR my sister again!" cried, Ron sandwich at the ready.

"See, I told you that thing is like his frigging pet to him!" Ginny whispered in Draco's ear.

She yanked Draco down into the seat next to her.

"Relax Ron. He only wants to play truth or dare with us." Ginny explained.

"Oh." Ron seemed content with the answer and went back to stroking his sandwich. "Carry on then."

"Is it just me, or is it getting kinda cramped in here?" Asked Neville, eyeing the seven people in the compartment warily.

"Ginny, it's your turn." Luna interrupted Neville in her mystical voice.

Ginny looked around the compartment at the six faces intent on her every word.

"Neville," she said, turning to the frightened boy, "Truth, or Dare?"


	3. In which there are alternate endings, th...

AUTHORS NOTE: Sorry we have not written in a while. In the words of Phoebe from 'Friends', "I wish I could but… I just don't want to." Here's another dash of stupid nonsense, courtesy of the three stooges, Brit, Ari and Sam!

**Chapter 3: In which there are alternate endings, the story makes no sense and we never _REALLY_ figure out who Neville likes**!

Neville looked around frightfully before making his decision.

"Truth," he whispered in his quivery, soft voice. Neville always acted as if he was about to explode from fright.

"Do you like anyone in this compartment, and if so who?" Ginny asked.

Neville weighed his choices. He did like someone in this compartment… but should he embarrass himself in front of his love? Of course not!

"I don't like anyone in this compartment." He lied, not looking Ginny in the eye.

Ginny watched his reaction critically.

"You're LIEING!" she exclaimed at Neville, "Tell us who you like or you have to take something off."

Neville looked around the compartment for sympathetic eyes, but he found none. He took a deep breath and answered in a timid voice.

"I like Draco."

(Whoa I scared you there for a second didn't I? The last sentence is a joke, erase it. Neville is too sexy to be gay. Once again, here we go with the real ending)

Neville looked around the compartment for sympathetic eyes, but he found none. He took a deep breath and answered in a timid voice.

"I like Hermione. She was always nice to me."

Then Hermione grabbed him and they started snogging wildly.

(Another joke. I'm just messing with you all. Real ending this time."

Neville looked around the compartment for sympathetic eyes, but he found none. He took a deep breath and answered in a timid voice.

"I like pie. That's why I'm so fat." Then Neville proceeded to stuff his face with blue berry pie.

(Okay I lied. It's not the real ending. Last time I swear! This is the real ending, honest!)

Neville: You know what? I'm tired of this!!! In all these stories I'm always a pushed around, abused character that has no PERSONALITY! I'm whatever the author makes me, just so long as I'm helpful to the plot! Well you know what? I'm tired of it!!! I want some real PERSONALITY!!! I WANT CHARACTER!!! I WANT DEPTH!!! FOR ONCE, GIVE ME AN ENDING I CAN BE PROUD OF!

(Well then. I guess we need to make an ending that Neville can be proud of. Here it goes.)

Neville looked around the compartment for sympathetic eyes, but he found none. He took a deep breath and answered in a **not so timid** voice.

"I HATE ALL OF YOU!!! I DON'T NEED A BUNCH OF WANNA BE HEROS AS FRIENDS! I HAVE _REAL _FRIENDS!"

Then Neville put on his biker helmet and hopped on his motor cycle and rode away into the sunset. But he forgot to look both ways when he crossed the street and he was hit by a bus.

**_THE END._**

NOTE: This is what happens to characters when they mess around with the author. Authors do not like to be told what to do.


	4. In which Bob dies and Ron sings

Authors note to whom it concerns: OMG WERE BACK AGAIN. This is a special song chapter that we have worked on for a total of 10 minutes! Read and review or we'll get you my pretties. (The 3 awesome authors cackle and ride away on their broomsticks) ENJOY!

**In which many things happen to Bob and Ron sings**

"Okay then…"Ginny said, as everyone in the compartment turned away from the corpse of biker Neville, "I guess it's my turn to dare again." She looked around the compartment evilly as her eager eyes landed on Ron. "Ron, I dare you,"

"Wait, don't I have a choice in choosing truth or dare?" interrupted Ron.

"NO!" replied the authors.

"Anyways," continued Ginny, "Ron, I dare you to eat……."

Suddenly suspenseful and evil music cut in:

Dun dun dun dun

Da da da da DA!

Dum de de dud um de DADA

Du DunDun dun

DUN !

"Wait what were we talking about again?" Ginny asked. "Oh yes I was daring Ron to eat something," Ginny said, clearing her throat, "I dare you to eat BOB!"

A collective gasp echoed in the room whilst Ron screamed, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"You have another choice," said Ginny with a questionable glint in her eyes, "you can choose chicken and remove an article of clothing."

"Phew," Ron sighed, he would much rather take off clothing than eat his best friend in the whole wide world.

"OH MY GOD," he exclaimed as he looked down, "WHERE DID ALL OF MY CLOTHES GO!"

Authors note: clothes were removed for our dry cleaning purposes of DOOM!

"Cover up Ron," Hermione wailed, "nobody wants to see that!"

"Yes really mate, I mean there's barely anything to see." Smirked Draco

"HA," laughed Ginny, "now you have to eat Bob because you have no clothes to remove."

"Fine," sniffed Ron as a tear rolled down his cheek, "just let me say goodbye to him first."

"Okay fine," Ginny rolled her eyes at her brother's freakish love for the sandwich, "just make it quick."

Suddenly to everyone's horror, Ron burst into song:

"I will remember you! will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories!

Remember the good times that we had, let them slip away from us when things got bad, clearly I first saw you smiling in the sun, wanna feel your warmth upon me, I want to be the one.

I will remember you-"

"For God's sake man, shut the bloody hell up," Draco interrupted to everyone's relief, "It's just a sandwich, be a man!" Then suddenly Draco grabbed the offending sandwich and took a large bite.

"MURDER," cried Ron, "YOU KILLED HIM TO DEATH!"

"Now that he's dead," commented Harry, "can I have a bite 'cuz I'm getting kind of hungry."

Ron gave Harry a death glare before snatching the sandwich back from Draco and exclaiming, "I shall be the ONLY one to eat the remains of my beloved BOB!" With that he shoved the rest of the sandwich in his mouth.

After finishing the sandwich we regret to say that Ron burst into song for the second (and hopefully the last) time that day, "Bob, Oh Bob, you came and you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away. Oh, Bob well, kissed me and stopped me from shaking, and I miss you today. Oh, Boooooooooooooob!"

Draco cried out "Oh for the love of GOD man, or woman, have some dignity!"

DISCLAIMER: The songs that Ron recited in this story are credited to Barry Manilow and Sarah McLachlan.


	5. In which we meet the NEW Voldemort

How this story got 63 reviews I shall never know…

Disclaimer: Song belongs to Gloria Gaynor, Characters, set and all that jazz are J.K Rowlings. You know the drill.

While Ron was still weeping about the death of his beloved funeral, the power mysteriously went out. Maniacal laughter began to echo throughout the train.

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

For once, it was not the authors.

With aloud BOOM, the door to the compartment burst open. Standing in the doorway was…

LORD VOLDEMORT!

…

In a sparkly sequined dress and heels!

Yes, it is true. Lord Voldemort was in drag!

"Excusssssssse me! That's LADY Voldemort to you!"

Of course. How silly of us. Anyways…

"QUE THE MUSIC!" shouted_ Lady_ Voldemort.

A disco light blinked on, illuminating the dark compartment. Suddenly Lucius Malfoy jumped into the compartment. There was something different about him that's for sure…. But we're not sure exactly what.

"DAD!" Draco shouted, "WHY ARE YOU WEARING TIGHT PANTS THAT FLARE AT THE BOTTOM? AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR HAIR?"

Of course! How horrible of us not to notice. Mr Malfoy had bought a new suit. It was all white, and looked suspiciously like the suit from Saturday Night Fever… and to top it off, Lucius Malfoy was sporting a new hairdo.

A big, poofy, white-blonde afro.

Lady Voldemort cleared her throat and kicked Lucius with her strappy high heels.

"I said que the music!" She whispered to him.

"Sorry, my Queen of Disco!"

Lucius flicked his wand, and the compartment was suddenly filled with music

Lady Voldemort jumped on the table. Slowly she turned around until she faced Harry Potter. Then she began her horrible torture…. She started to sing.

_First I was afraid_

_I was petrified_

_Kept thinking I could never live_

_When you were still alive_

_But then I spent so many nights_

_Planning different ways to kill you_

_And I grew strong_

_I tried to kill your best friend Ron_

_And so I'm back_

_from my hiding place_

_I just walked in to find you here_

_with that pointy scar upon your face_

_I should have changed my stupid wand_

_I should have killed you as a baby_

_If I had known for just one second_

_you'd be back to bother me_

_Go on now go._

_Woah woah_

_Laladee da_

_Hmm Hmm ha_

_I was the one who tried to_

_hurt you with cruciatus curse_

_I thought you'd crumble_

_I thought you'd lay down and die_

_But apparently you didn't._

_You still survive_

_No matter how many times I try to kill you_

_You always stay alive_

_Though I continue to live_

_Your parents love they give_

_To make you survive_

_You still survive_

_It took all the strength I had_

_not to fall apart_

_kept trying hard to make new plans_

_that you could not outsmart_

_and I spent oh so many nights_

_just feeling sorry for myself_

_I used to cry_

_Now I hold my head up high_

_and you see me_

_somebody new_

_I'm not that chained up little person_

_still trying to kill you_

_and so I felt like dropping in_

_to tell you that you are now free_

_cuz now I'm saving all my evil_

_for someone as evil as me!_

As the song wound to a close, Lady Voldemort struck poise, and the lights flicked outt. Out of the darkness rose Harry's voice.

"What the hell?" He asked no one in particular.

"I just dropped in to say that you're free now, girlfriend. I'm no longer hunting you down. Didn't you hear my song?" Lady Voldemort said.

"Are you sure that this isn't part of some plan?" Hermione asked suspiciously.

"Of course not! I'm turning over a new leaf. No more Harry-Hunting for me. That's what I came to tell you!" Lady Voldemort assured them.

"Well that's a relief," Ron sighed, "I thought you wanted to play Truth Dare or Chicken with us. That would be horrid"

"Why, what a splendid idea! Isn't that a splendid idea Lucius? Let's stay and play with the little kiddies! Please, let's!"

"If my Mistress of the Dance floor wishes it," Lucius (the man servant) answered.

"That is a great idea," Ron exclaimed, "I'm glad I thought of it,"

"But a second ago you said it would be horrid." Hermione said in a confused voice.

"Be quiet you know-it-all!" Ron commanded., "Now it's my turn. I dare Harry to remove an article of clothing!"

"Why that's dumb!" Hermione argued, "The point is that if you **don't **do a dare then you take off an article of clothing! You can't just dare someone to take it off. It defeats the purpose."

"Hermione, what did I tell you about talking? No body cares about what you have to say. Now Harry, remove that article of clothing!"

If you remember correctly, you will know that Harry was wearing no socks or shoes today. Also, in a previous chapter, he removed his shirt. So that means all Harry had left to remove was his pants and underwear.

"Hurry up Harry!" said Loony Luna, who everyone had forget was in the compartment, " I hope you're going commando so we can see if you live up to you're name!"

Will Harry remove his Pants? What will become of Lady Voldemort and Lucius new hairdo? Will Hermione ever stop being such an annoying know-it-all? How do all these people manage to fit into a little train compartment? And why is Luna so creepy?

Find out in the Next Chapter!


End file.
